


Home Is Where the Fleas Are

by Hyenawrites



Series: Harry Finding Love, Being Nonbinary, and the Emotional Depth All His Friends and Family Deserved [8]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Fluff, Minor Angst, Nonbinary Harry Potter, Nonbinary Sirius Black, Other, Piano, they talk about feelings like usual
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-16
Updated: 2021-01-16
Packaged: 2021-03-14 03:01:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28788399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hyenawrites/pseuds/Hyenawrites
Summary: Harry has a hard time sleeping and some anxiety his night before going back to Hogwarts and decides to sleep in the study like he usually does and is greeted by Sirius and Remus instead. They talk, fluffy stuff.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Series: Harry Finding Love, Being Nonbinary, and the Emotional Depth All His Friends and Family Deserved [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1542124
Comments: 1
Kudos: 41





	Home Is Where the Fleas Are

**Author's Note:**

> A new installment so soon, surprising I know! I got this out as fast as I did because it's the night before I headed back to college and so I found it important to get this little piece out. In many ways, I find it interesting because in a way Harry and his comfort in Grimmauld place juxtaposes my own at home. Harry is someone who found himself growing under the care of Remus and Sirius while in Grimmauld place and honestly over this break at home I've really found myself doing the oppossite, I break off a lot of important pieces of Me, because I know I have to be a lesser version of myself here. Yet, we have some similarities too. Anyways! Enjoy!!

Harry sighed as he stared up at the ceiling of his room. He had to head back to school in the morning and as much as he tried to sleep he couldn’t. The bed felt too  _ soft _ suddenly and it was like every little thing about the room was bothering him. Years of sleeping on a lumpy matt in a cupboard and he honestly couldn’t really take the soft gentleness of the bed. 

This wasn’t an uncommon occurrence, there were plenty of nights when he tossed and turn, feeling unsettled by the comfiness of his bed, you could say after years he found a sort of comfort in the discomfort ironically. Usually though he could get past it, after a while couldn ignore that unsettled feeling and somehow manage to get to sleep. This night was different though, maybe the stress of having to go back to Hogwarts and face everything there was finally getting to the teen, setting something to crawl under his skin that he couldn’t shake.

So with an exhausted sigh Harry simply got up from the bed, dragging the blanket with him as he decided to sit in Sirius’s study. The room was relaxing in its own way with its large piano and soft demeanor that was nonexistent throughout just about the rest of the house. It certainly wouldn’t be the  _ first _ time Harry had slept on the floor in there.

Lost in thought the Indian teen walked through the halls, a seemingly somber tone echoing every step he took as he got closer to the study. ‘ _ I’m going to miss being here. _ ’ He thought as he walked, thinking of his break there, the way he was able to get to know Remus and Sirius on a deeper level, connecting not only with the last remaining connections to his parents, but as two people that cared about him and truly wanted to know him. To be there for him and support him. It filled him with a warmth he hadn’t known he was missing until it finally existed. He thought, only ever quietly to himself as he laughed at a prank Sirius pulled on Remus or smiled as he came across Remus having fallen asleep in a chair, tea already cooled and book slumped in his lap, that maybe this is what the love of a parent felt like. That unconditional thing he’d heard talked about so much but never really experienced for himself.

He’d never say it out loud, there was still that pervasive feeling of shame and embarrassment. That hesitation that told him they couldn’t love him like that,  _ no one could _ . He would think it though, defiantly, against voices that sounded a little too like Vernon and Petunia, he’d think their love was like a parents.

Harry paused in front of the door to the study, taken from his thoughts by the soft sound of piano playing coming from the room. The teen smiled a bit as he listened to the dog animagus play from the other side of the door. ‘ _ It seems even he’s in a mood. _ ’ He thought, following along to the somber notes of Moonlight Sonata.

Finally, after a few moments he gently opened the door, a bit surprised to see Remus in the study as well, curled up on the sofa with a blanket of his own and a cup of tea, a relaxed expression on his face as he watched his spouse play. Quietly, the man looked over to him and smiled, patting the seat next to him and inviting the other to sit.

The teen gladly took the invitation, curling up next to Remus and leaning his head on the werewolf’s shoulder as he pulled his feet up onto the couch.

“So I take it you’re both upset at my leaving tomorrow too?”

Remus laughed softly, “Oh absolutely devastated.” He said. “Sirius couldn’t sleep and decided a little midnight concert was due.”

Harry scrunched his nose a bit, “Isn’t this song supposed to be a bit like a funeral march though?”

At this Sirius leaned back, still playing. “When you leave, you take a piece of us with you, truly this house is dead without your presence.”

Both husband and godchild rolled their eyes at his dramatics. “ _ Aside _ from being something similar to a funeral march, the song is also meant to represent someone’s life longing and mission. Something they’re willing to pursue no matter the consequence or circumstance.”

He tilted his head to the side, not quite sure what Remus meant.

Without turning to see Sirius could sense his prongslet’s confusion and spoke up. “What my dear Moony means Harry, is that when I play the song I evoke sadness that you’re leaving because we do mean it when we say you’re taking a part of us with you, but” he said as he drew out the last few notes of the song. “It also is a dedication of how we will always be in your corner. No matter the circumstance, no matter the consequence pup, we will see to it that you’re okay. We love you prongslet, and this little piece is just my goodbye and our promise.”

It was quiet for a few more moments as Harry took in his words, the final chords ringing in the room. He felt himself tear up a bit. “I love you guys too, and I’ll make sure to owl you if I have any problems.”

Sirius nodded resolutely as he got up from the bench. “Good.” He said as he plopped down on the sofa on Harry’s other side, sandwiching the teen between the married couple. “Now, any particular reason you can’t sleep pup? I just happened to have a bout of the midnight sads.” Harry knew this meant Padfoot really had to have been feeling quite depressed but politely didn’t say anything.

“Why are you up?” He asked, turning to Remus.

The man shrugged, “It’s a bit more difficult to sleep closer to the full moon, the wolf gets a little antsy. Now are you going to answer the question cub?”

Harry sighed as he leaned his head back against the couch. “Just antsy I guess? And a bit nervous and sad to leave. I couldn’t keep laying on the bed in my room because it felt too soft and I couldn’t ignore it like I usually do, so I was going to come in here and lay on the floor cause that’s always nice. Then when I walked over here I got sad thinking about everything. I’m gonna miss being here. I feel like, like I was able to find pieces of myself I didn’t know I was missing while I was here ya know? And now I have to leave right when it feels like I’m finally starting to become more of a person.”

Remus and Sirius both nodded, understanding Harry in their own way. “I understand how you feel cub.” The werewolf began. “It’s really become a safe space for you here, and I’m happy that it has, but what you’ve gained here doesn’t suddenly disappear when you leave here. You take it with you.”

“Yeah like fleas.” The animagus chimed in, garnering a laugh out of Harry.

His husband rolled his eyes fondly. “Yes a bit like fleas I guess, you gained them here, and they’ll definitely follow you back wherever you go.”

The teen nodded, “A fascinating analogy for my personal growth, but I think it fits. I find more of myself with a wolf and a wild grim, I would wind up with some fleas.”

Sirius leaned into the other. “And hey, when you’re feeling homesick they’ll give you a nice little bite and remind you we’re here.”

“Yeah,” he said. Then against his own will he felt his eyes tear up a bit. “But I don’t wanna leave yet. I don’t wanna have to step back out into a sea of judging eyes and expectations I can barely handle. I just want to stay here for a little while longer and learn what it’s like to just  _ exist _ with people that don’t hate me. Not forever, but just for a little while longer.”

The two felt their hearts break at the teen’s words, not uncovering the real truth of the issue. It hurt them, knowing what Harry feared, understanding him completely. It pained them even more knowing that this one one of the few things they couldn’t do even though they wanted to.

The last two marauders instead wrapped their arms around Harry, circling their god kid into a hug. “I wish we could let you stay here for as long as possible.” Remus said into his shoulder. “Sadly that’s one of the only things we can’t do, Dumbledore certainly wouldn’t have any problem twisting our arms beyond repair to get you back, but you won’t be gone for long I promise. Just a few months and then you’ll be right back here.”

Sirius nodded. “Yeah, screw Dumbledore we’ll kidnap you if we have to and take you for the entire summer. You’ll have all the time in the world to heal like you deserve and build yourself up and Remus and I will be right here to help you. We can even invite Luna to stay for a while too and your other friends as well.” He rambled on. 

“That does sound nice.” Harry admitted.

Remus nodded. “It does.”

A smile began to bloom on the teen’s face. “Do you think they’ll get fleas too?”

They both gave him a serious look. “Oh absolutely, it’s not the Black-Lupin household without fleas.”

This garnered an actual laugh out of the teen, lifting his spirits more than he expected. “Alright, I guess I can handle going back tomorrow, only because I know the fleas will be with me.” He paused. “Can we stay like this though? For the night? Since it’s our last one all together?”

His godfather nodded. “Of course we can! Nothing beats cozy cuddles.” He then leaned in conspiratorially and gave a stage whisper. “I gotta warn you though, Remus snores.”

The man in question gave an affronted look. “No I do not you mutt!”

Sirius let out a shocked gasp. “I’ll have you know I’m a purebred!”

Harry actually lost it at this, letting out a loud laugh as he leaned forward. Husband and spouse shared a look over the doubled over teen, happy to have made him feel so much better.

“Alright cub that’s enough laughing you do actually have to get up early tomorrow.”

His laughs finally dying down Harry agreed, snuggling into the surprisingly warm werewolf. Though he guessed it shouldn’t be that surprising since the man had told him something about running at a higher body heat at some point. Either way he was the most comfortable of the two so the teen happily used him as a pillow, feeling the weight of Sirius lean into him.

It was comforting, laying there crowded on the couch between his godparents, Remus’s hand now gently carding through his hair and lulling him to sleep. Yes, he feared what was to come next. Was afraid of facing the outside world again after these few weeks of true peace like he’d never known and gotten to become more of a person than he ever thought possible. He knew now that he wouldn’t be doing it alone though, because even if Remus and Sirius weren’t there to shield him from everything.

He’d still have his fleas.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it!! Please, leave a comment and a kudos and tell me your thoughts and stuff. When you read my fics what does it make you feel? What does it make you think about? How does it change your perspective on these characters? I'm dying to know! I love analysis!!!


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